I know this isn't going to make me many friends with cat owners, but I object to domestic cats. A minority of domestic cats carry a horrific parasite, the toxoplasma virus. This virus, once it infects the brains of rats, makes these rats behave recklessly, so that they are more likely to be eaten by cats. Cats are a crucial part of the parasite's life cycle, they are passed onto the soil in cat shit, where they quickly go on to become infective.
What is worrying is that the toxoplasma virus can infect the brains of humans, and affect human behaviour in an analogous way to its effect on rat behavior: possibly lowering intelligence and even causing conditions like schizophrenia (in so far as anyone can agree on what exactly schizophrenia is). So it may be worth keeping cats away from people, especially pregnant women and children. I don't wish to be alarmist, and I've not yet authoritatively researched the level of risk involved, in fact, no one knows what the risk is for sure. But it is a risk that makes me even more ill at ease about the millions of cats killing and shitting all over England alone.
Take those cute cat food ads with a pinch of salt. Cats may be a risk to you, your family and your neighbours.
Cats are a peril for wildlife, they kill
birds and amphibians with abandon. Indeed in
Australia cats are even more of a environmental
disaster, the indigenous wildlife cannot defend
itself from these man-introduced predators.
Unlike natural predators, domestic cats (felix
domesticus) are not subject to natural Darwinian
pressure, they don't need to kill for food,
they do it for pleasure.
Cats are wasteful in that they need lots of food in a world that is short of food, and the production and distribution of cat food is a wasteful process that creates polution. Cats crap all over gardens too, which is a genuine disease risk. In my opinion, most casual "fur friend" (cat - and perhaps dog, certainly dangerous dog) ownership should be heavily taxed, these animals are an indulgence that has too many downsides.
It's a shame, because it's pleasant to stroke a dog, and even a cat. But one reason for my mild antipathy of cats is they seem the animal embodiment of a psychopathic kind. Domesticated cats, although they can be very friendly and playful, strike me as disconnected and impersonal. This is hardly surprising given our feline friends are solitary hunters by nature, whereas dogs, on the other hand, evolved from social hunters, and are more genuinely affable.
I think the first time I found myself disliking cats was back in the eighties, upon encountering three bony, cross-eyed Siamese cats that dwelt in a house of a school friend. The house had a musty smell that was caused by those moggie fiends. A different schoolmate mentioned how he saw one of the cats break its tail, I think someone was playing with it and it landed awkwardly. My natural reaction is to pity a creature that suffers pain, but the description of this absurd creature skulking around with its tail bent at right angles was conducive to mirth as well as pity. And, remember kids, cats inflict far more pain and death to other creatures than they receive in turn! My dad witnessed a cat deliberately tormenting and torturing a rat once. Sadism is alive and well in cats.
An optimist is someone who believes that Schrodinger's cat is dead.
My fondest feline memory was of my cousins'
cat, Tinker, circa the late 70's and 80's. When
it was old, it disappeared and, upon the failure
of it's return, the family mourned its passing
with a ceremony. Then, a miracle! The thing
pitched up again, a bit like Christ. They thought,
oh bloody hell, we've got to go through all
this again! Then Tinker really did snuff it,
and, again like Christ, Tinker has stubbornly
neglected to trouble the planet since.
But when all is said and done, remember that some cats carry the toxoplasma virus. As you read this, that insidious beastie might be crawling towards your brain, or your family's brains, in a mission to turn useful grey matter into a subservient soup. Now tell me domestic cats are a good idea! If your answer is "yes", cats ARE a good thing, then the toxoplasma has obviously done its worst.
Update - Spring 2011 - My next door neighbour has been moved out, she needed care. She was mad, her mind was going. No memory, intelligence of a small child. Now it could be that this was Alzheimer's. But, she was a mad cat woman, she had four bird-eating cats! I do suspect her mentalness was caused by Toxoplasma, the cat disease that gets transfered to humans and makes them stupid(er)?