cat rage

I know this isn't going to make me many friends with cat owners, but I object to domestic cats. A minority of domestic cats carry a horrific parasite, the toxoplasma virus. This virus, once it infects the brains of rats, makes these rats behave recklessly, so that they are more likely to be eaten by cats. Cats are a crucial part of the parasite's life cycle, they are passed onto the soil in cat shit, where they quickly go on to become infective.

What is worrying is that the toxoplasma virus can infect the brains of humans, and affect human behaviour in an analogous way to its effect on rat behavior: possibly lowering intelligence and even causing conditions like schizophrenia (in so far as anyone can agree on what exactly schizophrenia is). So it may be worth keeping cats away from people, especially pregnant women and children. I don't wish to be alarmist, and I've not yet authoritatively researched the level of risk involved, in fact, no one knows what the risk is for sure. But it is a risk that makes me even more ill at ease about the millions of cats killing and shitting all over England alone.

Take those cute cat food ads with a pinch of salt. Cats may be a risk to you, your family and your neighbours.

Cats are certainly bad for wildlife, they kill birds and amphibians with abandon. Indeed in Australia cats are even more of a environmental disaster, the indigenous wildlife cannot defend itself from these man-introduced predators. Unlike natural predators, domestic cats (felix domesticus) are not even subject to Darwinian pressure, they don't need to kill for food, they do it for their pleasure.

Cats are wasteful in that they need lots of food in a world that is short of food, and the production and distribution of cat food is a wasteful process that creates polution. Cats crap all over gardens too, which is a genuine disease risk. In my opinion, most casual "fur friend" (cat - and perhaps dog, certainly dangerous dog) ownership should be heavily taxed, these animals are an indulgence that has too many downsides.

It's a shame, because it's pleasant to stroke a dog, and even a pussy. But one reason for my mild antipathy of cats is they seem the animal embodiment of autism. Not that autism is evil, it is just that domesticated cats, although they can be very friendly and playful, strike me as disconnected and impersonal. This is hardly surprising given our feline friends are solitary hunters by nature, whereas dogs, on the other hand, evolved form social hunters, and are more likely to be genuinely affable.

I think the first time I found myself disliking cats was back in the eighties, upon encountering three bony, cross-eyed Siamese cats that dwelt in a house of a school friend. The house had a musty smell that was caused by those moggie fiends. A different schoolmate mentioned how he saw one of the cats break its tail, I think someone was playing with it and it landed awkwardly. My natural reaction is to pity a creature that suffers pain, but the description of this absurd creature skulking around with its tail bent at right angles was conducive to far more mirth than pity. And, remember kids, cats inflict far more pain and death to other creatures than they receive in turn! My dad witnessed a cat deliberately tormenting and torturing a rat once. Sadistic bastard. The cat, that is, not my Dad ;-)

An optimist is someone who believes that Schrodinger's cat is dead.

My fondest feline memory was of my cousins' cat, Tinker, circa the late 70's and 80's. When it was old, it disappeared and, upon the failure of it's return, the family mourned its passing with a ceremony. Then, a miracle! The thing pitched up again, a bit like Christ. They thought, oh bloody hell, we've got to go through all this again! Then Tinker really did snuff it, and, again like Christ, Tinker has stubbornly neglected to trouble the planet since.

But when all is said and done, remember that some cats carry the toxoplasma virus. As you read this, that insidious beastie might be crawling towards your brain, or your family's brains, in a mission to turn useful grey matter into a subservient soup. Now tell me domestic cats are a good idea! If your answer is "yes", cats ARE a good thing, then the toxoplasma has obviously done its worst.


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From:	cosmicstargoat	Subject:	cats	2003-11-27 06:13:08
From:	cosmicstargoat	Subject:	Garden Party	2003-11-27 11:26:11
From:	Alex	Subject:	Cats are our masters	2003-12-13 07:48:11
From:	someone who knows this stuff	Subject:	corrections	2004-01-09 15:32:34
From:	ben	Subject:	fuck the cats	2004-04-08 14:03:01
From:	Fi-Fi	Subject:	Dogs Rule	2004-04-19 18:20:51
From:	Shelly	Subject:	You are clinically fucked!!!	2004-04-20 15:43:57
From:	belbelchic	Subject:	cats rule	2004-05-07 15:20:29
From:	Nigel	Subject:	Fuck them all (cats that is)	2005-08-07 23:43:02
From:	Courtney	Subject:	someone got bored	2005-11-15 21:21:40
From:	Lou	Subject:	Revenge	2005-12-04 18:02:02
From:	vincent	Subject:	lighten up	2006-03-29 09:32:33
From:	Steve	Subject:	Cat owners must be responsible	2006-08-01 06:50:37
From:	The Reckoning Force	Subject:	You shouldn't hurt animals	2006-08-18 17:17:04

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