As any fool kno, an SUV (Sports Utility Vehicle)
or off-road vehicle, is a four wheel drive, gas
guzzling nuisance that is becoming worryingly
pervasive. The only explanation I can think
of to explain this is that SUV's serve as status
symbols for insecure sheeple that have fallen
prey to the mindless consumer mentality. These
peons on crack presumably derive satisfaction
from looking down at everyone (except truckers)
from their elevated driving position. The bulk
of their SUVs match their equally gigantic egos
and compensate for their want of a noble mind.
There may be exceptions to this rule, I'm merely generalising :)
The rise of the SUV is a bitch as far as our
planet is concerned. The last thing we need
is yet more needless pollution belched out by
these inherently inefficient mechanical porkers.
As a bonus, SUV's will accelerate and deepen
the oil crisis, perhaps catalysing the next
big American skirmish with the Arabs a little
sooner.
The bloat of SUV's makes them a nuisance when
it comes to having to park adjacent to one of
the suckers, or squeeze pass one on a narrow
country road. Their unwieldy size makes SUV's
disadvantaged for day-to-day conditions, despite
what the pig marketers insinuate.
Research has demonstrated that people take greater
risks if they feel secure. The compulsory wearing
of seatbelts has a dark side in that seatbelted
people tend to drive faster: they feel it's relatively
safe to do so if their bodies wil be constrained from being propelled through the windscreen.
I'm not arguing that seatbelts are bad per se, but every silver lining has a black cloud.
Compulsory seatbelts has resulted in fewer drivers' deaths for now, but more
pedestrians are killed by speeding motorists. Another unwelcome side effect is that
people are forced to change their behavior,
for example by keeping their kids indoors as
roads become ever more dangerous. In sum, research indicates
that many people tend to drive as dangerously as they believe
they can safely get away with.
Accident statistics show that SUV's are relatively
unsafe cars, posing a higher hazard to both
occupants and to other road users, compared
with smaller classes of car. But the bulky nature
of SUV's give drivers the illusion of protection
and so SUV drivers take disproportionately dangerous
risks. Unsurprisingly, SUV drivers cause greater
numbers of deaths of both themselves and - infinitely
more tragically - to blameless pedestrians,
passengers and less selfish drivers of normal cars. To solve
the off-roader menace, SUV's should be taxed
out of the market, and the windfall raised distributed
between innocent surviving victims of SUV accidents,
the families of dead victims, medical research
charities, and reducing road tax for the rest
of us. (The UK Government is considering an
SUV tax, it has inflicted a gazillion other
stealth taxes after all). But lobby groups that
finance politicians on behalf of car manufacturers
and oil companies will be loath to allow such
a tax to happen, and they certainly own a few
politicians both in the UK and oversees (the
entire US Congress, for example).
As if it were not obvious already, the plague
of SUVs is one more indication that society
is mental.