The
Feng Shui of the Toilet Lid
The feng shui of toilets is very important,
toilets are the gaping bowels of your lovely
home.
Consider the Seat down, lid down toilet: the
ancient art of Feng Shui teaches that a low
seat means low energy, hence low qi. Not a happy
feng shui toilet!
Seat down and lid up: the energy is rising!
feng shui is rising...
Lid up and Seat up:
happy feng shui -
The wise should be wary of the lady of the house
who counsels in favour of toilet seats in the
down position! The Ancients have been leaving
seats up for thousands of years!
The Feng Shui
of Contraception
Condoms are
unhappy feng shui. That's
the Feng Shui Hippo's excuse anyway.
[Where
did all these kids come from? Quiet kids! I'm
trying to concentrate!]
The snip - Heavenly milk may not flow
from the sacred rocks to the holy valley. This
is
unhappy feng shui. There is an exception:
if you always wear a baseball cap, then go for
it!
The Feng Shui
of Jobs
- Bean counter - unhappy feng shui - yawn!
- Lawyer - money-grabbing feng shui
- Engineer - cool feng shui
- Feng shui confidence trickster - euphoric
feng shui. That'll be five hundred dollars
please.
The Feng Shui
of Computers
Always have the viewing end of the monitor facing
directly away from you. This is
happy feng
shui. Never save your work. Saving your
work regularly is
unhappy feng shui.
[Oh god, I've lost my edits Again! Windows crashed
AGAIN!] Joking aside, never buy or use micro$oft
products. Ever. Their software is poor and they
are evil. That's not feng shui, that's a fact!
Your partner moans about all the time you're
wasting on the web -
unhappy feng shui
(unless partner is gorgeous)
The Feng Shui
of Thought
Rational thought -
unhappy feng shui
- enemy of feng shui. Religion and other irrational
and mistaken belief systems make for
happy
feng shui. The Feng shui belief system is
excellent feng shui - especially if you
cough up your hard earned cash to the rip-off
Feng Shui Hippo for consultancy!
The Feng Shui
of Defence
Peace is
unhappy feng shui whereas killing
people in fighter jets and stealth bombers etc.
etc. is
excellent feng shui! (D
isclaimer:
the Feng Shui Hippo's verdict is not influenced
by his having invested heavily in defence and
aerospace industries)
The Feng Shui
of NASA
The ludicrous "Cheaper, faster better"
strategy - i.e. crashing space probes into the
surface of Mars is
happy feng shui. What
a laugh when the bean counters gain control
of an organisation with inevitably disastrous
results.
The Feng Shui
of Money
Keeping all your money for yourself is
unhappy
feng shui. Give all your money to the
Feng Shui Hippo and benefit from
brilliant
feng shui.
The Feng Shui
of Toilet Paper
Quadruple layered luxury 'duvet' delux - bad
qi makes for
unhappy feng shui. The ancients
never had it so why should you?
Tracing paper -
happier feng shui where
as... Sandpaper is
excellent feng shui
(disclaimer: the fact the Feng Shui Hippo owns
shares in a Sandpaper manufacturer is purely
a coincidence.)
Next:
welcome to the
Feng
Shui Hippo's maniac zodiac. Click on the
first Star Sign
here.
Is feng shui nonsense or what?
Leave a message | | | | |
| From: |
Nupur | Subject: | 2001-04-26 06:44:49 |
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| From: |
mrsilveya | Subject: | 2005-12-09 23:24:34 |
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| From: |
helen | Subject: | 2007-08-03 17:25:38 |
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