Pisces
The Fish
Ok, you're a fish! Don't worry! After all, most
Pisces live up to the name, particularly when
it comes to drinking.
You are well liked by most people. Even vegetarians
will eat you. Some of you had the last laugh
when the more careless of the sushi-guzzling
Japs neglected to cook your toxic liver properly.
Pisces, what a sign! Some of you are shark eyed,
but most are slippery as eels. You tend to take
an optimistic view of the world. That toothy,
gaping maw ahead is just a cosy cave,
isn't
it? Don't you believe it! And that big net
over there scooping up all your mates: it looks
like fun,
doesn't it? Beware! It's probably
a Spanish net fishing plundering British waters
under barking mad EU regulations. Avoid! Wait
for a nice English fishing boat to come along
instead.
Yet, as you are dart about the shark infested
oceans, remember you are in good company, God
is a Pisces! That's why Christians represent
themselves with the symbol of the fish. Not
many people know that! You read it here first.
Ruling Planet:
Neptune
Your ruling planet is Neptune, outermost of
the gas giants and Roman God of the Sea. If
you see Neptune, please ask Him to resurrect
the Plesiosaur and all the other extinct sea
monsters. Then please persuade Him to launch
an armada of those monsters to attack those
dastardly Spanish fishing trawlers that are
hoovering up all our cod from our British waters.
Thanks!
Your Luck
With
Money! 
Being a fish, you find it harder to differentiate
between the normal and the fishy. This makes
you are susceptible to fraud. Help is at hand,
or should that be
at fin? The Feng Shui
Hippo will focus the energies of the spirit
world to place a protective aura between you
and bad luck. Email the Feng Shui Hippo with
your credit card details, scanned picture of
your autograph, your date of birth and your
mother's maiden name (for security, you understand).
Remember, not all astrologers are lying conmen
that prey on believers' credulous natures. Well,
yes they are as it happens. But, hey! Don't
let that stop you handing crooks, ahem, I mean,
astrologers, your hard-earned cash on a plate.
Your...
Future
As a Pisces the deck is dealt against you, what
with all the chronic and unsustainable over-fishing
that's going on globally. The oceans will become
deserts and You will be the main course. Pass
the salt and vinegar.
The Feng
Shui Hippo
Verdict
It's a little known fact that the phrase piss-poor
is derived from Pisces-poor.
Pisces
Star
Rating
Are Pisces hopeless or groovy?
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Karen | Subject: | 2001-04-30 18:11:23 |
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mercella | Subject: | 2005-01-12 20:45:55 |
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ROSE ;) | Subject: | 2006-09-22 16:52:53 |
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sirenita | Subject: | 2006-12-04 20:32:55 |
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Mel | Subject: | 2008-01-03 17:23:16 |
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