Scorpio

Scorpio the... guess

Ah! You are the scorpion! How very charming. Some sloppy astrologers will try to flatter you that you are actually an eagle but don't fall for the emperor's new clothes. Your scuttly legs, ferocious claws, horrifying tail and general arthropod-like demeanour give you away. You are a scorpion. This is very useful: most people bear a reverence towards you. Out of fear, it must be said, but respect is respect! Those who cross you had better watch out.

Your interesting and famed penchant for lustful lechery precedes you. The opposite sex always runs screaming in fear. Your only hope is to sting them with your venom of charm and to trap them with a prescient pincer movement before they escape into the open-armed welcome of a lesser sign.

Ruling Planet: Pluto

As a Scorpio your ruling planet is Pluto, one of the tiny Kuiper belt icebergs drifting thousands of millions of miles away in the outer Solar System. Believe it or not that distant speck is supposed to rule your life. But, hey, since when did the facts of astronomy stem the evil tide of astrological bullshit?

Pluto is also the name of the Roman god of Hades. Cool!

Note on dogs: Pluto, God of Hades, had a dog: a fierce, three-headed hound called Cerberus. Pluto was also the name of the dumb, affable dog that belonged to Mickey Mouse. Don't confuse Pluto the Disney cartoon dog with Cerberus, guard dog of Hades, or you may look like a dog's dinner. Literally.

Your Luck With Money!

You want to get rich? Be a spiritual money-grabber! The Feng Shui Hippo will teach you the Tao, Chi, Ying and Yang of getting your palms greased with mountains of cash. To find the true path to greed and gluttony, simply send all your money to the Feng Shui Hippo.

Once paid, he will summon the Spirits of the Underworld. These Lords of Darkness will promptly invest it in fast food companies, the music industry, the GM foods corporations, law firms, Microsoft and other Satanic institutions. The profits of evil then be passed onto you (minus the small commission of your original investment plus ninety percent of the profit not including tax). Remember, the value of evil can go down as well as up, but not very often.

Your... Future

One day you are scrabbling about through the scorching deserts of life as usual. Out of the corner of one of your multitude of beady eyes you spy a creature snuffling for food. It is the afeared desert hedgehog, a beast that is immune to your venomous sting. Your destiny, Scorpio, will not be peaceful: your carapace is very crunchy and the desert hedgehog is a noisy eater.

The Feng Shui Hippo Verdict

Lecherous infidels!

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From:	Stephanie Scorpio	Subject:	~*Scorpios Rule*~	2001-04-30 17:25:19
From:	Johnny	Subject:	Annoying!	2003-12-25 21:44:44
From:	Elicia Roberts	Subject:	This web site suck butt	2004-11-03 17:00:19
From:	Elicia Roberts	Subject:	Scoripo's Rule and you know it!	2004-11-03 17:03:40
From:	Travis Bickle	Subject:	SCORPIOS	2004-11-17 15:18:47
From:	Me	Subject:	Is this true?	2005-01-19 19:18:06
From:	Catherine le Chevre	Subject:	Scorpios , & Drama Queen Johnny	2005-05-10 04:03:50
From:	Raja Salahuddin	Subject:	I'm a scorp!	2005-05-18 03:48:18
From:	cinca	Subject:	scorpio hater	2005-05-20 18:16:28
From:	izzy	Subject:	Yay Scorpios!	2005-06-14 09:31:37
From:	SARAH THE SCORPIO	Subject:	Dear Johnny	2005-06-22 06:38:02
From:	bucktooth	Subject:	scorpios the best?	2005-07-15 14:20:49
From:	bucktooth	Subject:	scorpios the best?	2005-07-15 14:26:44
From:	Capricorn Will	Subject:	Scorpio Girls	2005-07-30 21:41:41
From:	Samantha	Subject:	Scorpio!	2005-08-12 08:48:53
From:	sammy	Subject:	I LOVE MY SCORPIO BOYFRIEND	2005-08-13 18:33:17
From:	lovelyvirgin	Subject:	scorpios are great with virgos	2005-08-24 20:58:55
From:	Scorpion sting	Subject:	Ones and only!	2005-09-05 07:06:32
From:	Scorpio	Subject:	Great in all, just got to accept us	2005-09-16 17:58:29
From:	hypnoticjt	Subject:	scorpio men	2005-10-06 20:40:18
From:	shea	Subject:	scorpio	2005-11-07 15:34:25
From:	ana	Subject:	SCORPIO	2005-12-05 06:32:15
From:	JB	Subject:	Scorpio Wife	2005-12-09 08:06:07
From:	Scorpiticus	Subject:	powr and more power	2005-12-21 13:55:40
From:	Kamillah	Subject:	Queen Scorpio	2006-01-07 23:26:21
From:	Drukstylz	Subject:	Jealousy	2006-01-15 17:04:19
From:	ashley	Subject:	scorpio's always come out in the end	2006-01-16 09:08:19
From:	ashley	Subject:	continue	2006-01-16 09:08:49
From:	Yohanna	Subject:	Scorpios	2006-02-12 19:48:12
From:	Tee	Subject:	Scorpio women with Scorpio man	2006-04-04 03:11:02
From:	Raine	Subject:	weirdos	2006-04-09 06:42:02
From:	Alvin malcolm	Subject:	Taking the journey	2006-04-30 06:53:55
From:	Andy	Subject:	Scorpio women are the best...	2006-05-08 19:42:24
From:	Alvin..	Subject:	Shatterd Dreams	2006-05-12 18:59:46
From:	Arcana32078	Subject:	who says they r bad?	2006-05-30 13:35:51
From:	hina	Subject:	i fkin hate scorpios	2006-06-22 13:05:59
From:	ron and reg kray	Subject:	scorpion darts	2006-07-08 19:54:34
From:	nicole	Subject:	scorpios rule and live on 4 ever	2006-07-30 19:51:33
From:	scorpio_lover	Subject:	Scorpio's	2006-08-01 11:00:20
From:	marklad	Subject:	Pluto scorpios planet	2006-08-15 13:46:52
From:	Sam	Subject:	Regarding Scorpios	2006-08-21 04:05:59
From:	adnre jui	Subject:	as	2006-09-06 01:12:58
From:	G-sama	Subject:	Groovy!!!	2006-09-06 21:38:20
From:	Aurora	Subject:	Scorpios	2006-09-19 05:22:11
From:	_gianne_33	Subject:	Scorpio r0cks__	2006-11-16 10:55:28
From:	scorpio	Subject:	scorpios are so danm sexy	2006-11-29 18:13:08
From:	scorpio woman	Subject:	us, of course	2006-11-29 18:19:05
From:	whatever	Subject:	whats wrong with you people!	2007-01-04 01:32:50
From:	whatever	Subject:	and another thing!	2007-01-04 01:41:35
From:	Sherree Brown	Subject:	I'm so PROUD to be a SCORPIO	2007-01-12 14:23:11
From:	lucy	Subject:	scorpio	2007-01-17 00:17:31
From:	vr the dazzled	Subject:	scorpio charm	2007-01-19 14:17:39
From:	Alky	Subject:	I am what I am and I am proud of it.	2007-01-23 14:18:11
From:	annelie	Subject:	scorpio	2007-01-26 08:20:22
From:	scorps	Subject:	wha?	2007-01-29 00:24:15
From:	critdal	Subject:	Dont judge a scorpio	2007-02-19 10:59:30
From:	critdal	Subject:	strong scorpio	2007-02-19 11:17:40
From:	Phoenix	Subject:	Scorpio!	2007-02-27 04:29:08
From:	LIL MAMA	Subject:	SCORPIO GIRLS	2007-04-15 19:52:54
From:	SEXY	Subject:	SCORPIO	2007-04-15 19:57:13
From:	Aries	Subject:	Scropio & Aries	2007-04-20 17:24:33
From:	Aries	Subject:	Reply to LIL MAMA & SEXY	2007-04-20 17:28:15
From:	LIL MAMA	Subject:	THANX ARIES	2007-04-21 02:05:32
From:	sexy scorpio manda	Subject:	scorpios	2007-05-31 02:24:38
From:	Nicki	Subject:	Scorpio rising!	2007-06-06 08:24:49
From:	ScOrPiOs	Subject:	heeey	2007-07-15 02:39:32
From:	ginglifingli	Subject:	scary	2007-08-03 17:40:54
From:	lindaSCho	Subject:	jji	2007-08-03 18:13:25
From:	Elaine	Subject:	get over yourselves	2007-09-02 17:21:47
From:	ree	Subject:	scorpios do rule	2007-09-06 17:13:22
From:	JANANDJIM	Subject:	SCORPIO ON SCORPIO	2007-09-22 15:42:11
From:	Lillie	Subject:	Scorpio Queen	2007-09-26 22:40:10
From:	SCORPIO TOM	Subject:	MUUUUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TOM THE SCORPIO	2007-10-20 06:20:58
From:	Rachel	Subject:	Scorpio's give me a break!	2007-11-20 16:22:20
From:	SCORPIO TOM	Subject:	We 'suck'?	2007-12-24 01:07:00
From:	scorpio_manipulativeme	Subject:	Me, you, them...	2008-01-09 17:49:14
From:	Isabella	Subject:	Scorpios!	2008-01-21 21:54:38
From:	Scorpio_Girl	Subject:	Scorpio	2008-02-13 23:25:20
From:	scorpio oh yes	Subject:	isterious scorpio	2008-02-19 20:50:44
From:	Isabella	Subject:	Scorpios	2008-02-28 20:14:20
From:	Daba	Subject:	Scorpios	2008-02-29 15:52:40
From:	daba	Subject:	Scorpios	2008-02-29 15:54:40
From:	Kairene	Subject:	Daba	2008-03-09 19:19:35
From:	sweet scorpio	Subject:	OMG CHILLLL	2008-03-18 01:21:45
From:	sweet scorpio	Subject:	ohh yeahh	2008-03-18 01:24:17
From:	???????	Subject:	Answer: was hitler a scorpion?	2008-03-29 18:24:53
From:	Scorpio1029	Subject:	Isabella & Rachael..SOUR GRAPES	2008-05-07 00:57:48
From:	Eva	Subject:	Scorpio-and proud of it!	2008-05-16 18:55:34
From:	kj35779	Subject:	Much more to it!	2008-06-18 03:44:21
From:	Bulls Eye Annie	Subject:	Enough already	2008-08-23 23:49:16
From:	Scorp 9	Subject:	Scorps Rule!	2008-12-02 23:11:42
From:	Racquel	Subject:	Scopiomania	2008-12-15 03:38:30
From:	Scorpiolady	Subject:	A true Scorpio	2008-12-16 09:51:46
From:	matt	Subject:	meg	2009-01-02 19:27:24
From:	Mikey	Subject:	no, Thov.	2009-01-11 10:56:40
From:	Shanna Williams	Subject:	Scorpio	2009-01-17 04:02:57
From:	EDWARD L HEROLD	Subject:	SCORPS LIKE ME	2009-02-27 05:10:09
From:	Regina	Subject:	Scorpio with Confindence	2009-03-05 23:34:48
From:	AriesFire	Subject:	They really aren't all that haha	2009-05-18 02:54:49
From:	~Nora Baby~	Subject:	I'm a SCORPIO....and i'm the bomb!	2009-05-18 20:09:37
From:	Debu	Subject:	How to handle a Scorpio	2009-10-27 07:45:25
From:	angie	Subject:	SCORPIOS	2009-11-28 04:32:36
From:	Hydra	Subject:	Didn't we forget something?	2010-01-03 13:36:16
From:	Hydra	Subject:	Stop talking nonsence.	2010-01-03 22:58:32
From:	SUN:virgoMOON:aquaRISING:scorpio	Subject:	scorpio rising aint so cool	2010-08-31 16:10:13
From:	chey	Subject:	aww	2010-09-10 21:15:57
From:	Kamochka	Subject:	i love scorpios	2010-09-23 01:45:12
From:	Harley scorp babe	Subject:	Double Scorpios	2010-09-26 01:27:23
From:	leoscopariespisces...	Subject:	human beings have their own personality	2010-10-21 19:11:40
From:	teehache	Subject:	water signs are annoying	2010-10-31 08:05:48
From:	silverfox	Subject:	I could use a scorpio male right about..	2011-09-11 01:51:22
From:	Babitha	Subject:	Scopions women	2011-09-29 19:16:09
From:	Su	Subject:	Scorpios	2011-11-12 01:19:49
From:	Su	Subject:	Scorpios	2011-11-12 01:20:20
From:	LOL	Subject:	Funny	2011-11-26 05:51:38

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