the feng shui hippo on

Virgo


Hi! Pleased to meet you. I'm your mother in law.

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Virgo the Harvest Goddess/Virgin

A male Virgo is a virgin. You can't deny it, it's an astrological fact! (Or if you're not a virgin, you were once. Astrologers get it right in the end, and people only remember hits, not the misses). And, if you are a virgin and you want sex then blame it on your parents for not conceiving you a month earlier. Hehehe

A female Virgo is a Harvest Goddess, so that would make you a farmer (a farmess???). You can blame that on your mother's timing too.

Take revenge on society and harvest lethal crops. Buy your Genetically Modified seeds from the first sinister GM crop corporation that comes along. Do your worst!

Ruling Planet: Mercury

Your ruling planet is Mercury. You sail far too close to the sun for your own good. Slash on the sun block before harvesting those GM crops!

Your Luck With Money! 1 Feng Shui Hippo Quid

Being a Virgo you are meek, obedient and follow orders unquestioning. The Feng Shui Hippo commands you to sign up to his course of extortion-style astrological consultations. Send him your date of birth and a big bag of gold pieces. Do it now! In return you will get a your own personalised astrological chart. This unique gift will be lovingly hand-crafted by a computer printing out random, vaguely-true-for-everyone predictions.

Your... Future

You are a non-paying guest of the House of the Harvest Goddess, but don't become too settled. The sharp end of the busy scythe of another harvester - Death - will be your check-out.

The Feng Shui Hippo Verdict

Death is a Virgo. If that isn't cool, what is?!

Virgo Star Rating

Rating: 3/5
Blame it on you're parentsBlame it on you're parentsBlame it on you're parents


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