The
Holier-Than-Thou
Christian Channel 303

DO NOT CONFUSE the xtian channel 303 with the Atheists and Agnostics Channel 333!

Channel 303 is the ICC Christian Channel. I present a little satire of OGO's (OGO is the rather stern 303 operator) xtian channel 303 page. Maybe by the time you are reading this OGO will have been shamed into toning his absurdly bossy rules down a bit...


Channel 303 Rules - as decreed by his Holiness Pope OGO The Pious and his poodle PorkBelly

1) You must profess to being a really creepy person.

2) You must hold down OGO's and PorkBelly's pants and lick as you have never licked before. OH YES.

3) No room at the Inn for non-fundies*, so bog off.

*Fundy = fundamental christian.

The standards of conduct while in ch 303 will be governed by strict adherence to OGO's commandments:

Pope OGO's Xtian channel 303 Commandments:

1) Thou shalt not fink. Thoughtful or intelligent tells are not permitted. Tells sucking up to Pope OGO and PorkBelly are encouraged. When thou hath finished thy licking of ass, thou shalt moronically spam random drivel from the bible, or drone on about Jesus777 or any other drek SpamfinderVII shalt blather for reasons known only to himself.

2) No verbal harassment shalt be tolerated or you can rot in the burning lakes of Hell, along with the accursed heathen infidel!

3) No sexual harassment will be permitted. Unless you are a priest and fancy choirboys. No women allowed, since they're all barefooted whores anyway, and besides, Christ only liked to hang out with men and that's good enough for us.

4) Targeting other members, by shouts or notes, to their distress or embarrassment, is harassment, and will not be permitted. But it is fine to threaten agnostics and atheists - especially impressionable children - with eternal torture in Hell unless they start worshipping Christianity's "loving" God.

5) Revealing personal or private information, about other members, such as home addresses, telephone numbers etc. are NOT allowed to be disbursed in a public way.
Incidentally, the more psychotic 303 fundies shalt refer to Murderous303ChristianVigilante's finger notes to get the names and addresses of known infidel.

6) No reasoned discussion, only Christian dogma is permissible. If God wanted fundies to fink, He would have given them the power of rational logic and not made their brain hurt.

7) No advertising of any type, But it's fine for Christians to carpet bomb 103 with spam from braindamaged Christian propaganda sites in a cheesy attempt to bolster the miniscule number of people actually in 303.

8) No pretending to be human is allowed. You are an autonomous droid of God. Anyone found out to be human will be force-fed mindless, brainwashing bible quotes until they grow a woolly coat, go baaaaa a lot, and become strangely attractive to Welshmen.

Any breach of these policies may result in the clueless, self-important and patronising whining of Pope OGO and PorkBelly. Continued and repetitive breaking of our commandments will result in a one way ticket to Hell, to the sadistic tune of bloodthirsty christian fundies screaming, "burn you bastards!"

Pope OGO and PorkBelly will make self-righteous judgements as to what is offensive and what infractions have been made - and their decisions are final! Note to Jesus, God and Holy Ghost: that applies to you lot too, so watch yer step, all right! Or else!!
PO & CP.

You have been reading a satire of the real icc christian channel 303 rules. Remarkably little exaggeration was required.


Atheists and Agnostics page





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From:	Jack	Subject:	ICC 303	2001-08-16 16:48:09
From:	dlh	Subject:	Channel 303	2001-09-01 13:55:26

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