In Space, no one can hear you ask for directions.
The clever stunt this film pulled was to drown
us in clever SFX for well over an hour and then
STOP them to concentrate on the Robinson family.
When at last the effects returned in their magnificence
the film woke up once again after a seemingly
years long cryogenic snooze. This ruse demonstrated
that special effects do matter in a science
fiction blockbuster film. Who cares about the
pseudo psychology "family relationships" bullshit?
Indeed the family were dreadful. Mimi Rogers
was a pointless Mum. Cute kids polluted the
screen with their unnatural Holliwoodised super-smart
kiddy-sugariness. I cringed as William Hurt,
who played a wimp, told his smug kid how much
he "loved" him. Why do Hollywood do this? If
Americans get off on this caramelised nonsense,
and I (verbally) ejaculated "J'accuse!", we
are doomed to shit dialogue and sentimentality
from their media forever.
With any luck schmaltz will one day become as
dated and embarrassing as the cheesy Hollywood
musical. And cuddly saucer-eyed aliens should
be spagettified by the gravitational well of
a nearby black hole. Without delay.
Gary Oldman was fun to watch. Matt Leblanc was
not so bad. Heather Graham slightly ludicrously
played the icy scientist role with faltering
conviction. She only seemed genuine and not
ill at ease (acting wise) when she got to flick
Leblanc bimbo-eyed adoring looks while grinning
coyly at the end of the film. Refreshing to
see a scientist portrayed as human for a change
and not a mad hatter.
The film gratuitously raped scientific logic
in search of a good story. One of a zillion
examples: Heather Graham, who was cryogenically
frozen, was thawed out quickly in an improvised
emergency on a table. Once her heart was eventually
jump started (no onboard defibrillators note!)
she was right as rain. Didn't even need an aspirin,
God bless her polyester alloy socks. Or should
that be roller skates? (Sorry - bad Boogie Nights
joke)
Lost in Space is another suspenseless,
sterile SFX movie then. It is mildly enjoyable
except for the frightful family relationships
sections.
A
Borgia descendant had boarded the Jupiter II
ship and started to bump them all off with poison,
one by one by one. And got away with it. Now
that would have been a feel-good and
heart-warming denouement.
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Jim | Subject: | 2002-12-08 18:39:45 |
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