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How thoughtful of the movie studios to give away the plot in the trailer

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In my review of Collateral Damage I lament the rise of kung fu in movies over good old "normal" fighting. Kung fu as depicted in Hollywood movies is pretty poor. In America it is impossible to insure the stuntmen who will do the job properly. This is because those stuntmen - who work in the Hong Kong movie biz - are nutters.

Wire fu, for those who've not heard that expression, is the term used to describe how many western (and, increasingly often, eastern) movie makers cheat when filming kung fu. It works like this: an actor is suspended from wires and executes his combination kicks or whatever whilst dangling in the air like a puppet. We've seen countless shots of someone kicking an opponent repeatedly in the chest whilst in the midst of a mid-air jump - almost as if they are walking up their ribs - and then they usually finish off the move with a backwards somersault. That's wire fu. The wires are either too thin to be seen or are removed using computers in post prod. Using this technique, kung fu artists can perform physically impossible mid-air feats. (This technique is also used in movies like Starship Troopers, but it is used most often for kung fu).

Wire fu is dismal because it can kill suspension (pun intended) of disbelief. Bullet time (extreme slow motion where you can see the bullets hurtle through the air) is another lamentably cheesy gimmick, but at least it allows for some amusing special effects in The Matrix). And it's a fantastic innovation in the computer game Max Payne.

Even without wire fu, movie kung fu is unrealistic, you would never see real martial arts combat like that. It is there to look pretty. But it still takes incredible skill to do well. The classic Hong Kong movies featuring actors like Jackie Chan are often wire-free. Those guys use fight choreography that is incredibly fast, and they perform remarkable stunts. You see guys literally getting hurt in those stunts. In Police Story, for example, Chan uses a car parked across the road to stop a bus full of gangsters. The bus driver slams on the anchors and the stuntmen tumble out of the top windows. The tarmac road breaks their fall. They were *supposed* to land on the car! (even then the stunt looked suicidal). The true professional, Chan continued acting the scene regardless so as not to waste a good - if fucked up - stunt, while his mates lay on the ground in agony and of decidedly dodgy mortal condition. (They were taken to hospital, apparently). Those Honk Kong stunt guys are mental. One feels vaguely uncomfortable watching the pain, but knowing how utterly insane the stunt work is adds a new dimension of interest to those movies. Just as well, as the non-fighting parts of such movies I have seen are a ghoulish vortex of stiff acting, laughable romance and toe-curling, twee "humour". The unintentional humour is a laff though and there's oodles of that.

Sooner rather than later even wire fu will be obsolete as computer graphics will free fight choreography from the pestilent shackles of human anatomy and the laws of physics. Already stuntmen are being replaced by the ultimate enemy: the digital chip. It knows no fear and it feels no pain. It will eat your lunch, kick yer ass and then jump out of the tenth floor window. Welcome to the lily-livered world of digi fu.




A marshal arts expert and friend, Declan Chellar writes the following on Movie Fu. I have taken his words out of context, but it's an informative read anyway.



The Matrix: Not a "Kung Fu" movie because it does not feature any actual "Kung Fu" practitioners. Fishbourne and Reeves received 6 months training at best and so do not qualify.

Blade: Not a "Kung Fu" movie because it does not feature any actual "Kung Fu" practitioners. Snipes practises Karate and Capoeira.

Watch any Jackie Chan film, particularly [Hong Kong movies] Police Story, Police Story 2 or Dragons Forever and you will see no "motionless stooges".

Jet Li is a Wushu bod, which means he trained with sport/performance in mind rather than combat. As a Wushu athlete, he would have learned various styles. By the time he was 18 he had already won the All China championships five times.

As for his thumbs being extended, it depends on what he is doing. Extending the thumb is an energy thing to do with opening the channels into the palm of the hand (unless, of course, you are extending the thumb so as to jam it into somebody's eyeball).

Martial arts movies are fine for entertainment and I love seeing someone's skill demonstrated. I highly recommend Fist of Legend (minimal "wire-fu", Jim!) as Jet Li's last good film. However, although the techniques are genuine, the tactics are rarely realistic, so there is little to be learned from the movies.

The "wire-fu" in Crouching Tiger was necessary because, traditionally, sword movies are distinct from "hand-to-hand" movies in that they tend to feature supernatural or super-powered characters.



Thanks to Declan for the above


Jim's preferred ending: Screaming Death to wire fu!

Rating: Wire fu 1/5 score

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