Ocean's Eleven
Directed by Steven Soderburgh
Ocean's Eleven. Shame. Steven
Soderburgh usually makes rather good movies.
This movie has career criminal Danny Ocean (George
Cloony) teaming up with a fellow villain (Brad
Pitt) to plan a compulsorily unfeasible robbery
of three casinos in Vegas.
Ocean's Eleven gets off to an
OK start. There's some daft characters, a mildly
fun (if unoriginal) exposition of the mission
impossible, and an amusing depiction of the
least unsuccessful casino robbery attempts.
But... the enjoyment (for what it was worth)
stopped.
And it stayed stopped.
Like a fat-clogged flat-lining heart.
I remember the exact moment this happened. Julia
Roberts appeared. The guys in the movie were
gawping as if she is some kind of goddess, but
lets face facts. She's a bit of a dog and -
far worse - she's an uninteresting dog. Many
disagree with me on this point. But for me,
she didn't fit. At this point Ocean's
Eleven just shrugged and gave up. This
movie was not only a formulaic "me too"
affair, but it was an unengaging formulaic "me
too" affair. It descended into sub
A-Team implausibility minus the fun.
The plot was a total joke. For example, take
the Electromagnetic pulse bomb... more on this
in the spoilers. None of this might have mattered
except for the biggest sin of this movie. The
biggest failure of Ocean's Eleven
is that there was ZERO SUSPENSE! Nail-biting
suspense is the raison d'être for the
genre. Ocean's Eleven has to be
the most ho-hum crime caper I've ever had the
misfortune to be mugged by.
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spoilers corner
Spoilers!!!!
Warning: this box contains a movie post-mortem analysis that freely gives away important plot twists and details. If you have not yet seen this movie and intend seeing it, avoid this spoilers box until afterwards. Bookmark the page, see the movie, see if you agree with my review then write an arsy comment saying I am talking total b*ll*cks :-)
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First - lets take the Electromagnetic
pulse (EMP) bomb. Remember when the explosives
dude with the incompetent Mockney accent
detonated that stoopid machine full of
florescent green fluid (WTF?) and the
lights went out in the entire city? An
EMP bomb with the power to do that would
have had to have been powered by a (short
lived) nuclear fission chain reaction.
So those guys stole a nuke from that building.
Yeah right! Secondly, to stand by an EMP
bomb powerful enough to take out the electrics
of a city, is to commit suicide. You'd
be fried to a cinder. Thirdly, notice
that the EMP bomb could knock out power
stations and yet leave relatively delicate
cell phones, video surveillance equipment
and other electronic paraphernalia conveniently
unaffected.
And, I have no idea what the point was
of the gang going to tortured lengths
to get the black guy fired (for having
a criminal record!!!) when such an act
could only serve to implicate him
after the crime anyway.
I could go on, but I have beer to drink.
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There are no more spoilers below this
point, except maybe in any user talkback
comments.
End of spoilers corner
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An improvement would have been anything without
the ironically termed "love interest".
Interest? zzzzzzzzzzz Give me an ending sans
Julia Roberts.
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