Star
Wars: Revenge Of The Sith
Directed by George Lucas
Review by Jim Eadon
2005
Little introduction needed to this mega movie, so I proffer a fleeting
prologue - the movie deals with the grim fall from grace of Anakin - or
- ~*Annie*~ The Jedi, whose misfortune to have a girlie moniker drives
him inexorably to the Dark Side.
Incredulously, some of the acting (or at least sheer presence) is
enjoyable: the holy trinity of Ian McDiarmid, Christopher Lee and Ewan
McGreggor. Also subtly skilful was Samuel Jackson, whose character was
smug, distant and cold, to embody the unconscious pomp of the Jedi
Council that the wise, as well as ~*Annie*~, consider a bunch of
priestly baboons.
The bebearded do-gooder Obi Kenobi (was his name inspired by Evel
Knievel?) is as modest as they come. And for McGreggor to bring such an
awesome charisma to the irksomely Christ-esq wholesomeness of Kenobi
was
truly fine acting. I'd abhor 95% of modern stars in that role. Not
convinced? Two words - Keanu Reeves. Star Wars Revelations: Keanu
Reeves *is* Kenobi - O the horror!!
Ditto Brad bloody Pitt, I don't care what the ladies say.
Somersaulting Lee as Darth Dracula was a fine baddie too,
shame
~*Annie*~
didn't follow in his wrathful footsteps. Ah yes, the ack-ting of
Haydensen,
whose conception of menace is petulance. Now petulance in "Episode II"
I
could understand, but I did not sense the dreaded Dark Side in Darth
Annikins. To be fair, hapless Haydensen probably couldn't win, given
the nature of the script, but even so he languished, there was no
venom, no bollocks. Is this errant yoof *really* D. Vader?!?
McDiarmid, third of the trilogy, was gleefully weasily, a
Darth
Humphrey. Fans of the peerless British sitcom Yes Minister will know
the scheming character that is Humphrey.
Needless to say, the movie fell flat on its arse every time a chapter
of romance cropped up. The dialogue between the lovers was execrable as
usual. I guess part of the fun of Episodes II and III was to titter at
the romance scenes: a little farce embedded in the pomp, an almost
ingratiating flaw that makes the subsequent action and effects all the
more enjoyable because they are a relief. They satisfy much as the
mundane act of urination can bring euphoria after an interminable
voyage.
The movie is far from perfect then. But fun is a relative game:
imperfections are smoothed out by the sheer spectacle like waves spied
from
afar. I am unable to deny it, I was splendidly entertained by this daft
movie.
The movie is disturbingly violent, including a scene of what amounts
to extreme torture/torment - see spoilers - so this movie is not for
younger kids. Which is bizarre, given that Episode 1 was very much
pitched at youngsters, with a Home Alone style ~*Annie*~ and Silly
Silly Binks creating cartoonish capers and high jinks.
And remember kids, the decent to tyranny portrayed in this movie is
fairly common on our own planet, (particularly in Africa) so take heed
now that our Earthly, mundane politicians are insidiously eroding our
freedoms with bad laws. Foul Laws. Laws like the DMCA, and so-called
"intellectual property" laws being lobbied by nefarious, greedy,
monopolistic organisations such as the RIAA, MPAA and Microsoft.
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spoilers corner
Spoilers!!!!
Warning: this box contains a movie post-mortem analysis that freely
gives away important plot twists and details. If you have not yet seen
this movie and intend seeing it, avoid this spoilers box until
afterwards. Bookmark the page, see the movie, see if you agree with my
review then write an arsy comment saying I am talking total b*ll*cks
:-)
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The spectacle of Sith Lord Darth Humphrey scowling evilly, lighting up
his sabre, flying through the air with a scream and kicking the crap
out of those pious Jedi suckers was the most gratifying moment in the
movie. Are you threatening me, Jedi? Big mistake! Wallop! Yeah! It was
a throwback to when I were a nipper, cheering on the baddies in James
Bond on our little b&w telly.
Beware: the violence in this movie is disturbing for *younglings*. For
example there is a scene where a chap's legs are cut off and he is them
immolated by lava. Not pleasant to behold for one who's tolerance of
violence hasn't been nurtured by watching too many Hollywood movies.
Admittedly disarmed by dodgy dialogue, lovely Natalie
Portman was not
up to the job of bringing poignancy to her tragic heroine. I didn't
pity her character at all, which, for a tragedienne, is something of a
calamity.
There is much to be pedantic about, of course. Those little machines on
the wings with the circular saws could surely have done more damage by
detonating themselves as bombs.
According to a geek on the web, the plot where the mother of master
Luke dies in childbirth somewhat contradicted by dialogue in the
original trilogy episodes, in which her daughter says she remembers
her. I also read somewhere that people complained of a huge timestamp
(think date and time) scrawled across the screen for the entire movie.
Didn't notice it myself, but nevertheless this is more movie madness -
who cares if the movie is copied, it will get copied anyway and shall
make zillions for the producers regardless. There is no evidence that
piracy kills profits, on the contrary, they may indirectly stimulate
business. As Yoda might put it, were he more expansive than the laconic
fortune cookie muppet that he is: Troubling is this Palpatine-esq fear,
and quest for absolute power. Obsessed by the Dark Side the American
movie Sithdustry is.
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There are no more
spoilers below this point, except maybe in any user talkback comments.
End of spoilers
corner
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Darth
Vader was someone menacing, that actually
kicked butt
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| From: |
Mark Radburn | Subject: | 2005-08-30 10:45:25 |
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Matt Sutton | Subject: | 2005-11-09 23:21:28 |
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Steven Brady | Subject: | 2005-11-11 07:01:55 |
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jake | Subject: | 2006-01-10 00:33:29 |
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