Barking
mental cases sans straitjackets can rarely be
found in such concentrated numbers as the insides
of chess clubs. Chess players suffer for their
art. If art is symbolised by the beauty of a
rose, then chess is the roots. There is definitely
something curious there, but it is hidden from
all but the gardeners and the nematodes.
In the same way one should never trust a politician
who isn't corrupted by power, one should never
trust a chess player who is actually adept at
chess! Chess is glorious when played by beginners
who abuse the game by moving their queen more
than all the other pieces combined. Then the
joke is on chess. Any player that advances beyond
that ecstatic stage must admit that the joke
is on him.
People play chess for one reason: to beat the
living mental crap out of each other. Its pure
psychological bloodlust.
If the pleasure of playing lay purely in the
beauty of the game then people would enjoy playing
computers. BUT PEOPLE HATE PLAYING AGAINST COLD,
CALCULATING MACHINES! Anyone who tells you they
play chess purely for the aesthetic aspects
of the positions of the pieces is A QUACK PSEUD
AND A LYING FRAUD!!! They are no better than
a wine buff who claims that his intellectual
love of wines has nothing to do with intoxication.
Even Deep Blue, IBM's computer that beat Kasparov,
would be unable to fathom the hyperbolic hypocrisy
of chess.
You want proof? A better chess player than me,
Mr. D, said, "
my fide master friend told
me once when he was playing Quinteros that he
needed a win so he started choosing second best
moves as best moves would have led to a draw,
LOL, and my friend won!"
Fischer
Fischer was the greatest ever player. Fischer
was the most interesting player. He is the only
SANE player of chess. (Well, OK, he is barking
- but he's relatively sane for a chess player).
The way the Americans treat their genius is
atrocious. Fischer gave chess its finest hour.
He gave the Yanks a fine victory over the Russians
during the Cold War and in return he is persecuted.
Sing along now,
Born in the USA....
Ageing &
Chess
Age is the great enemy of the chess player.
Once the short term memory abandons a chap,
he is left to flounder at the mercy of the young
sharks, who have no wisdom, but much aggression
and the mental horsepower to back it up. As
the player ages, the neurons don't fire so fast.
If, when are 20, one's
brain is a speedy Athlon chip
Then when one is 30 it is a Pentium 3
At 40: a crummy Pentium 2
At 50 a mere pentium
The 60th year sees our noggin reduced to a 486
Three Score and ten will pass and all we have
to show for it will be a 386
80 years herald a brand old 286
90 grants us a rusty 8086
100 years old and we downgrade to an abacus
And it's downhill from there...
but the software may improve. Slightly. On a
good day.
A chess player who is better than me (almost
everyone), Mr. P, points out his fate, and your
fate too, when he says, "
my software
gets softer and my hair-drive is being reformatted."
Chess and
Ego
A budding Buddhist once said to yours truly,
"but I don't see how I can shrink
my ego per buddhism and mysticism and yet maximize
my ego per winning at chess, appears I am at
a crossroads"
In reply I said,
"Just tell yourself
that every game you win is proof of a misspent
life. Every victory condemns you as one of life's
pathetic losers. Then you might find that you
can maintain your winning ways and still
shrink your ego"
If you find yourself muttering darkly of opponents
avoiding your Albin Counter Gambit trap because
they don't know the "
main line"
then it is time to find a cave in Berkshire
and go and live in it. You'll thank me for that
advice one day.
Chess and
Sex
It is very difficult to play chess and feel
horny at the same time. That must be why I am
so bad at chess :)
So there you have it! Chess prevents good
men from interfering with the affairs of state.
Chess is a wise distraction that diverts fools.
Oh bugger. I've just lost again...
P.S.
As I append these particular words in April
2004, I confess it has taken me 10 years to
discover that my home town has a chess club
and it is situated about half a mile from my
house. They play matches too. Isn't life surreal?
I used to play chess on the Internet until I
gave it up as waste of time.
Chess Link
worth a look
Chess
addiction [Update link broken, so removed]. Marco remarks:
I am trying to
open your eyes to the dangerous and vicious
circle that chess makes to your life! Chess
is the first great sickness discovered at the
2000's. You must open your eyes for the fact
that chess doesn't make any benefits to your
health, body and mind. Everything you get is
the time wasted!!!
crap Chess
Links
Internet Chess Club (ICC) Chess server.
Contains grandmasters. Costs $$$
FICS
Free Internet Chess Server Play chess for
free
Chess
Curiosities. Amusing chess bits and bobs
The
Chess Cafe - as it says but without coffee
and nibbles
Chess
for goddesses - chick check
Chess at this
site:
Philosophy of chess
Pretentious Chess Love
Poem
Chess poems sent
in
To be good at chess is not clever, on the contrary,
it is autistic. Chess is rather like studying
the phone book so that you can be better at
phonebook knowledge than other autistics that
study the phonebook. But at least the game is
not quite as bad as TV.
Maybe.
Do you agree? Add your comment to this page
 | | | | |
| From: |
Dances-withKts | Subject: | 2001-02-12 16:19:40 |
| | | | |
| From: |
isolani | Subject: | 2001-03-02 21:50:38 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Yossarian | Subject: | 2001-03-02 22:15:52 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Yeah Yeah Me again | Subject: | 2001-03-20 19:24:09 |
| | | | |
| From: |
MadPole | Subject: | 2001-06-29 17:13:14 |
| | | | |
| From: |
MarcoBR | Subject: | 2002-07-30 09:43:01 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Hannibal | Subject: | 2002-08-17 17:45:04 |
| | | | |
| From: |
johnson | Subject: | 2003-05-29 11:46:54 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Alchemist | Subject: | 2003-08-19 21:39:31 |
| | | | |
| From: |
NO! | Subject: | 2003-10-02 07:18:54 |
| | | | |
| From: |
indrajeet | Subject: | 2005-09-26 22:58:26 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Richard Jones | Subject: | 2005-10-25 11:58:20 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Richard Jones | Subject: | 2005-10-25 11:59:06 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Chessosaurus | Subject: | 2006-05-26 16:23:49 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Caissa | Subject: | 2006-06-08 10:19:45 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Tariq A siddiqui | Subject: | 2006-07-05 23:22:09 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Tariq A Siddiqui | Subject: | 2006-07-05 23:35:11 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Manuel Anotnio | Subject: | 2007-06-25 03:05:44 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Mark | Subject: | 2007-12-19 19:33:07 |
| | | | |
help: how to add your comment
Page hits: 11960
